Note to self

You never know exactly how things are going to play out in life, and this is true in both directions, you can be surprised by grief and you can also be surprised by joy, and sometimes grief and joy will overlap.

You're allowed to feel many things at once, there are places in your life where you might feel overwhelmed by fear and there are also places where you can be overwhelmed with love.

You might be surprised by the one who broke your heart and you can also be surprised when someone says "I love you for who you are".

You might be surprised by the one who left when you needed them the most and you might also be surprised by the support of a new friend or the kindness of a stranger.

And through every loss and every gain, you will look back and see: You experienced this life wholeheartedly and fully, not easily but fully. 

And finally, you might remember some things you wish you could forget and you might forget some of the good things only to someday remember them again, there were nights you never thought you'd make it through and there was also track number 3 on the album you couldn't stop listening to  *Music playing in my head right now: Alll my dayssssss*, there were months where you couldn't catch a break,  and there were also forgotten ordinary days where you were okay, not perfect, but okay.

There are a lot of unknown before you, and this is also true: you might end up being surprised by the courage that rises up within you, the love that continues to find you, and the grace that continues to guide you.