Grief

 I've been grieving for a while now, it's actually something new to me, I am surprisingly handling it well however. So today I would like to share some thoughts and tips concerning this. (Note that I am not a professional and I'm just sharing my personal experience). 

What is grief in the first place you may ask? Grief is a normal process of loss, it can be a loss of someone who died, a failed relationship, a dear friend leaving to live abroad and so on...

Through my journey with grief I've learned so much, here are three main lessons:

1- Grief changes us, to the point where you won't be able to recognize yourself in certain situations, and guess what, that it totally okay, because you've been through a life changing experience, one of the saddest things we go through as humans, losing someone that meant the world to you, and for you to expect that you'll come out the other side of it unchanged and untouched is just unrealistic. There will be wounds, maybe traumas that you will have to work through.

2-Grieving over someone doesn't mean you can't be happy, I'm actually at ease with myself and my surrounding, I enjoy every moment wholeheartedly. So if you feel guilty for being happy, fight that guilt with all that you have and are, you are supposed to feel good, your heart deserves it, seek those feelings of excitement, embrace them, enjoy them. However, please do not run from your wounds, sit with them, understand them, accept the grief and lay with it, so you can define it, before it defines you. 

3-It gets worse with time before diminishing gradually, it gets harder, you miss them even more, you haven't seen them for a while, so prepare yourselves for a festival of the weirdest emotions. 

I sometimes wake up at 4:00 am thinking of them, and that is so new and weird to me, like what the hell is going on? I miss them but I know deep down that I don't wan to go back to that phase again. And sometimes just thinking of what they used to say, how they used to articulate a specific word make me feel something beyond nostalgia, an emotion so new and odd I honestly can't find any word to describe it. And again, that is okay, it's all part of the healing. 

I know you might relate, whether in remembering a late mother or father and their "Get home safe dear", to recalling the "You are my angel" text before bed time of a failed lover or reminiscing the beautiful memories with a friend far away from you. And the hardest part is, you can't do anything about it except allow your emotions to flow and learn to adapt and go on. 

I hope this blog brought you a sense of condolence and closure to your hurt. You are stronger than you think.