That tiny room

I will remember your small room, the feel of you, the light in the window, the yellow pillow, lofi songs, your smell and the two different perfumes you always wear, our noons, our nights, our bodies spilled together, sleeping, the red light, the round mirror, immediate and forever. Your leg, my leg, your arm, my arm, your smile and the warmth of you. I will remember the way you felt on my skin, so alive, the tender touch of your hands on my cheeks and the feeling of belonging that came with it. I will remember the night at your place when you asked me: "Do you think we will remember any of this when we're 70?" I know I always will. 

I will remember that night, on the couch, SYML- Girl playing in the background, you laid your head on my shoulder, gently grabbed me by the waist, folded your legs and a small tear ran down your face. You were at that moment a child, and for some reason I wanted this minute to freeze for a lifetime.

You've felt it haven't you? Those feelings that seem to get so big in your chest, like something is so beautiful, it aches? As if these graceful moments are so vivid and so alive inside your bones, they bleed. 

I wish for the same things I've hoped for since the beginning, I wish you a life so brave, so unpredictable, so full of unexpected joys and unforgettable love that your heart would explode from all the memories you'll get to live. And most importantly I hope someone gets to love that heart of yours unconditionally. 

Such a gracious moment when I come to realize all the people I've loved and all the lips I've kissed and the souls I've touched. And how every soul has left me in awe of their uniqueness, how every heart is erratic and yet deserves so much love. Getting to experience people is courageous and brave because it means I am open to all the possibilities, to all the joys and the sorrows, to the spring in their spirit and the storms as well, it means getting to experience their wholeness and presence and yet the probability of their absence and memory.

I've always been like this, highly sensitive, excessive in happiness and extreme in misery, but that has only led me to more growth, more love and another wonderful encounter of being a human being.